One approach is to use a series of guided stimulation exercises which will distract the man from any “need to be in control” as sex gets going. (A lot of men with delayed ejaculation have a need to be in control.)
This will also simultaneously increase the sexual stimulation he’s getting so that he can reach his “point of no return”, or ejaculatory inevitability, and achieve orgasm.
Sounds simple? Yes, and it is. This approach is much more likely to satisfy a man! It’s all about using the correct techniques for the circumstances.
For example, there are different techniques for achieving this during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Basically all of these behavioral therapy techniques rely on a gradual and slow increase in intensity of stimulation.
Exactly what that consists of will depend on the circumstances of the individual man and his partner.
You and your partner will have to co-operate to solve your delayed ejaculation problems.
So, to take another example, if a man could achieve orgasm through masturbation, and wanted to be able to ejaculate during sexual intercourse as well, it might be possible to desensitize his sexual inhibitions around ejaculation like this:
Steps In Behavior Therapy For Ejaculatory Dysfunction
First of all the man masturbates to orgasm while his partner is inside the building, but not in the same room.
The next step might be to have the man masturbate to orgasm while his partner’s in the next room with the door closed.
The next step could, for example, be that the man masturbates to orgasm while his partner is in the next room with the door open.
The next step might involve him masturbating to orgasm while his partner is across the room from the bed where he’s lying.
Gradually she would come closer, so that at each stage of the process he is totally relaxed with her presence while he achieves orgasm.
The next step could be that the man’s partner stimulates him either with her hand or by mouth until he’s near a point of climax, and then he takes over with his own hand.
After which, it may be acceptable for the partner to bring him all the way to climax and ejaculation.
And this could be, in turn, a natural precursor to the insertion of the man’s erect penis into the partner’s vagina just before he ejaculates.
This series of steps will gradually reduce the man’s inhibitions about being sexual.
And adding stimulation of the testicles or anus can be extremely helpful in providing the extra kick which allows the man to ejaculate.
This can be very effective, provided that the context in which it is done is explained to both the man and his partner so that they are completely aware of the goals of this technique.
Furthermore, the man needs to change his attitude somewhat: he has to be “selfish”, and freely enjoy his own sexual arousal.
Changing The Man’s Attitude To Sex
Men with delayed ejaculation often want to satisfy their partner. But they need to be able to be selfish and “use” their partner to pleasure themselves. Such a shift in outlook can be quite challenging for them!
Even so, given a supportive environment and a real desire to achieve ejaculation in the vagina, this is entirely possible.
It’s also important when using this cure for delayed ejaculation that the man does not engage in any attempt to have sexual intercourse before he wishes to do so, and before he’s sufficiently sexually aroused…
remember, that in men with delayed ejaculation, a hard erection is not necessarily indicative of a high level of arousal.
I often see the sexual inhibitions that caused a man’s anejaculation in the first place surface in the form of destructive or distracting thoughts during therapy or self-help….
And the best way to deal with this is for the man to talk to his partner about them, or to substitute erotic and sexually arousing fantasies that he enjoys so that disruptive thoughts no longer distract him.
If there are problems in the relationship, they need to be examined and dealt with. For example, hostile or aggressive feelings – whether overt or covert – towards his partner may induce strong feelings of guilt or anxiety that can totally prevent orgasm and ejaculation.
In other words, besides the behavioral techniques in a treatment plan, additional work on gaining insight into the couple’s sexual experiences, and relationship, may be necessary.
Click here to see the treatment program which shows you how to do this.